1482 页,共 1,520 共计 15,194 篇文章

多么新鲜的鲜猪

  猎人在山里遇上了一头野猪,他慌里慌张地开了一枪。   野猪猛然听到”砰”的一声枪响,吓了一跳,以为自己被打中,在地上晕了过去。   正好有一个小贩从这里经过,就向猎人买这头野猪。   他仔细看了看,对猎人说:”这野猪身上怎么没有弹孔?说不定是自己死的,肉一定不新鲜了!”   ”不,它不是陈货!”   两个人正在争论,野猪醒了,爬起来,来两个人不注意,一溜… (阅读全文)

三个猪脑

一天三个男生去大排档吃宵夜,于是三个人决定都点”猪脑汤”,但因为店中人多吵杂,于是端菜小姐为了方便作业便大喊:”猪脑!猪脑!三个猪脑……”    三个男生竟不约而同的回答:”我们我们……这里这里,在这里!!” (阅读全文)

喂猪

有人问农夫:”你用什么喂猪?”"用吃剩的东西和不要的菜皮。”农夫回答。  ”这样说来,我该罚你。”那人道,”我是大众健康视察员,你用营养欠好的东西去喂供大众吃的动物是违法的。罚金1万元。”   过了不久,另一个穿着整齐的人来问农夫:”多肥大的猪啊!你喂它们什么?”   ”鱼翅、鸡肝、海鲜之类。”农夫回答。   ”那么,我该罚你。”那个人说,”我是国际食品学会的视察员… (阅读全文)

pig-headed

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. “Great idea,” the chicken cried. “Let’s offer them ham and eggs?” “Not so fast,” said the pig testily. “For you, that’s a contribution. For me, it’s a total… (阅读全文)

反应灵敏的猪

从前,有一群动物准备偷渡,但是船上容不下这么多,于是, 大家提议说笑话,谁说的笑话不能让所有的人笑,就把它扔下海去。 牛就先说了,牛说完那个笑话,只有一只猪不笑。没办法,牛只好被扔进海里了。接着就轮到羊讲了。那羊讲的笑话一点都不好笑。这时,只有猪在那大笑起来。大家就觉得奇怪了,问那猪有什么好笑的,那猪说:哈哈,我终于明白:刚刚那牛讲的笑话为什么那么好… (阅读全文)

Three Little Pigs

from Roald Dahl’s Revolting Rhymes, 1982. The animal I really dig, Above all others is the pig. Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever, Pigs are courteous. However, Now and then, to break this rule, One meets a pig who is a fool. What, for example, would you say, If strolling through the woods one day, Right there in front of you you saw A pig who’d bui… (阅读全文)

A pig’s ear(转贴)

 Recently a man lost his ear, and it was replaced by doctors with a pig’s ear. They trimmed it down a bit and made it look humanly before attaching it. Few weeks later and the man went back to the Doctor and said: “Doctor, I keep hearing this noise and it’s doing my head in.” To which the doctor replied: “Don’t worry; it’s just a bit of crackling… (阅读全文)

Pig with medals

 A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says, “Sure, we can put you up.” The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son, and a gigantic pig who is sporting three medals around his neck, as well as a wooden leg… (阅读全文)

猪的理想

猪找上帝要做人。帝问:想做工?答:太累!问:务农?答:太苦!问:经商?答:太难!问:那有何求?答:能吃喝嫖赌那种!帝大悟:狗日的想当国家干部! (阅读全文)