谁能解开“婆媳经”?

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常言道“家家有本难念的经”,其中一本就叫“婆媳经”。婆媳关系不好处,是几千年来人类公认的事实,我家也不例外。

婆婆从小母亲死得早,没享受到母爱,中年又丧夫,一生挺不容易的,我想我一定要尽上一个做媳妇的孝心,让婆婆得点安慰。过年的时候,我给婆婆买质量好的衣服和鞋子,平时在生活中也尽可能对婆婆好一点。那段时间,我们婆媳相处得还算融洽。之后因我在纺织单位上班工资很低,而且又累,丈夫单位也不景气,我便想辞掉工作和丈夫一起租个门面做生意。我想辞工作的事遭到婆婆强烈的反对,她认为我是正式职工,把好好的工作辞了以后生活就没保障了,但我还是一意孤行把工作辞了。从那以后,婆婆对我总是带搭不理的,对我的孩子也没有以往那样疼爱了,还经常在我面前板着一张脸。

因着我和婆婆的关系越来越僵,孩子刚满一岁我们就买房搬了出去。有一次我带着孩子特意回去看婆婆,在院子里碰见了她,可婆婆对我非常冷漠,话都不愿意跟我多说就走开了。看到婆婆这样对待我,我越想越气:我把你当亲妈对待,没想到你根本不把我放在心上,就为了我辞工作的事,你一直对我不满,现在还不想见我,我也不想再见你了,我走!……

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孩子三岁那年,父亲因病住院,我想晚上去医院照顾父亲,就把孩子提前送到婆婆家,让她帮忙照看一晚,可刚送去没多久婆婆就把孩子送了回来。到了晚上我要去医院时,又把孩子送过去,见婆婆不理不睬,我心里有些生气,放下孩子就走下楼,孩子哭着从楼梯上追下来,我只好停下脚步,许久也不见婆婆出来,我气得抱起孩子扭头就走。此时我对婆婆愤恨极了,心想:没想到你一而再、再而三地这样对待我,你以后就不生病?到时候我也不管你。你能做初一,我就做十五!别怪我心狠!

过了几年,丈夫的哥哥也结了婚,有了孩子,看到婆婆不但给他们做饭,还帮着带小孩,并接送孩子上学。这一幕幕刺痛了我的心:我和嫂子都是你的儿媳妇,却有着如此大的差别待遇,婆婆你未免太偏心了!嫉妒、仇恨充满了我的心,便在心里发誓:我再也不踏进你家半步……

后来,逢年过节丈夫带着孩子去看望婆婆,我一个人孤单单地呆在家里,内心感到很凄凉、很孤独,我想:我只是想让一家人和睦相处,为什么这种简单的幸福快乐对我却是一种奢望?婆婆为什么要对我如此的不公平?为什么我就不能拥有一个和谐的家庭?此时心酸的泪水再也无法克制地夺眶而出,我觉得活在这个世界上真是太痛苦了!

2013年元月,我接受了神的末世作工,与弟兄姊妹一起读神的话,唱诗歌交通真理,过上了教会生活。看到神的话说:“起初神造的亚当夏娃是圣洁的人,也就是在伊甸园中他们是圣洁的,没有沾染污秽,而且对耶和华是忠心的,他们并不知道背叛耶和华,因为没有撒但权势的搅扰,没有撒但的毒素,他们是最圣洁的人类。……起初的人类有耶和华的气息,根本没有一点悖逆,人心里没有邪恶,那时的人是真正的人类。人经撒但败坏,便成了畜生,人所思想的尽都是恶,都是污秽,没有善,没有圣洁,这不是撒但吗?”神起初造的人类是圣洁的,没有沾染污秽,那时人与人之间没有怨恨、没有仇视,幸福快乐地生活在伊甸园中。当我们人被撒但败坏后,都变得自私卑鄙,无论什么事临到,总是考虑自己的利益,从来不会在乎他人的感受。并且为一己之利,明争暗斗,奉行“你不仁,我不义”的撒但生存法则。想到我因辞工作一事与婆婆发生分歧后,看到婆婆对我变得冷漠时,我就认为都是婆婆做得不尽如人意,心中对婆婆充满了恨意,甚至还恶毒地想,以后婆婆生病了也不照顾她;当婆婆对我和嫂子不能平等对待时,我更加恨婆婆了,开始施行“你不仁,我不义”,用对婆婆不理不睬来报复她。原来这一切都是撒但的生存法则导致我受愚弄,让我活在恨中自我折磨,不能享受到家庭的温暖。当我明白了这些后愿意放下对婆婆的仇恨,然而面临现实环境的时候,才看到自己被撒但败坏太深,想放下却不是那么容易的事……

2013年9月,我和婆婆家都面临拆迁,婆婆把丈夫和姑姐叫了回去,与哥嫂一同商量婆婆房产的问题,婆婆说我们和姑姐家都有房子,要把房子给哥嫂,房产证直接办理到哥嫂名下。听到丈夫回家对我说这事,我嘴上赌气说:“那是你们家的事,跟我没关系!”心里却翻江倒海:五六十万元就这样给了哥嫂?我们不也是婆婆的儿子、儿媳吗?婆婆怎么能这么偏心?哪怕给我们一二十万元也行呀?婆婆既然把一切都给了哥嫂,那以后她老了,有病了,我们就不管了!因这事我心里愤愤不平,时常把气撒在丈夫身上。后来弟兄姊妹知道了,都耐心地帮助我,跟我交通。当我看到神的话说:“败坏了几千年的中华民族存留到今天,各种病毒不断发展,犹如瘟疫一样到处蔓延,就人与人之间足可看见人身上的病菌有多少。神在这样一个封闭极其严密的病毒之地开展工作是极其不易的,人的性格,人的生活习惯,人的作风,人的所有一切生活中所表现的,以及人与人的关系都是破烂不堪,以至于人的知识、人的文化都被神定为死罪,更何况人在家庭,以及社会学来的种种经验,这些在神的眼中都被判决,因为生在此地的人吃的病毒太多了,似乎人都习以为常,不当作一回事。所以越是败坏深的地方的人,人际关系越不正常。人与人勾心斗角,互相暗算、残杀,似乎是一个人吃人的鬼城……”从神话语的揭示中我明白了,今天因着婆婆把几十万元的房产都给了哥嫂,我心里就无法平衡,还打算报复婆婆,等她老了不赡养她。在事实的显明中,才看到我和婆婆的关系是建立在交易与利益的基础上,没有一点儿亲人之间该有的理解与爱,一旦利益受到损失,自私卑鄙的撒但本性就会身不由己地爆发出来,导致自己活在仇恨中,被撒但苦害折磨。当我认识到了这些时,我开始恨恶自己身上的这些撒但性情,愿依靠神摆脱撒但对我的捆绑,活出真理实际荣耀神。

寻求中,我又看到神的话说:“现实生活中的你们生活在没有真理、没有良智的气氛与环境之中,你们没有生存的本钱,没有认识我与真理的根基……但是不管怎么样,我还是希望跟随我的人都能得着我的救恩,得着我话语赐给人的真理。”“所谓的真理就是正常人性的生命性情,也就是神起初造人时对人所要求的,即所有的正常人性(包括人性理智、见识、智慧、做人常识)……”

从神的话中我明白了,神就是真理、道路、生命,他所发表的话语,能作为我们行事的原则和生存根基,能带领我们摆脱撒但的败坏捆绑,活在光明中。想想之前没有真理作生命,我凭着撒但的毒素和败坏性情与婆婆相处,导致自己陷在仇恨的漩涡中越来越痛苦。现在我明白了只有凭神的话活着,按神的要求来与人相处,才能和婆婆处好关系。在神话的带领引导下,我觉得自己有了实行的路途,有信心,依靠神化解我和婆婆之间的矛盾。

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快到年节了,丈夫还是和往年一样问我:“今年团年跟我一起去妈家吗?”这句话触动了我内心,自从那次气得立了誓,我已经有八九年没有踏进婆婆家的门了,对我来说已经忘记了团年是种什么氛围。面对丈夫的问话,我不想再像以往那样活着,可又有些放不下自己,就安静在神面前寻求,这时我想到神的话说:“每临到一件事,都是神需要人为他站住见证的时候,别看现在你没临到什么大事,不作什么大的见证,但在日常生活的细节当中,都关乎到神的见证。让弟兄姊妹佩服,让家里人佩服,让周围的人都佩服,等到有一天外邦人进来,对你的所做所行都佩服,看见神作得实在太好了,在你身上就是一个见证。”作为一个信神的人,凡事不能羞辱神,在日常生活中的每件事上都得实行真理,为神站住见证,让周围人能从我们的活出上,看见神的作工的确能变化人,从而称赞神的大能。想到这里,我放下自己,答应和丈夫一起去婆婆家。大年三十我就和丈夫带着孩子一起去了婆婆家团年。没想到,当我按神的话去实行时,婆婆也变了,对我的到来很高兴,还不时地让孩子给我拿东西吃。我感到自己和婆婆之间的裂痕在慢慢愈合,心里不再计较婆婆没把拆迁款分给我们的事了,整个人感到轻松愉快。我知道这是神的带领,是神把我从痛苦中拯救了出来!

2016年11月,哥嫂为了钱与婆婆闹得不开心,婆婆气得要自己租房子住,丈夫和姑姐都不同意,说婆婆都70多岁了,一个人住在外面不放心,丈夫想让婆婆来我们家住。我心想:以往我需要婆婆帮助的时候她不帮我,现在她老了,什么都做不了就想起我来了?心里就不愿接婆婆来住。但马上我就想到神的话说:“信神要想性情变化脱离了现实生活不行,你能在现实生活之中认识自己,背叛自己,实行真理,而且能在凡事上都学习做人的原则、做人的常识规矩,这样你才能逐步有变化。你只注重道理的认识,只在宗教仪式中生活,却不深入实际,不进入现实生活,那你将永远进入不了实际,永远不能对自己、对真理、对神有认识,你永远是一个瞎眼无知的人。”神的话警醒了我,要追求性情变化,就要在现实生活中临到的事上注重实行真理,背叛自己,才能逐步达到变化。明白这些后,我愿意背叛自己恶毒的存心,真心接纳婆婆,便答应了丈夫。

婆婆搬来后,对我说:“现在我老了不能干活了,你哥嫂嫌弃我,把我往外推,难得你们还有这份孝心……”过后婆婆又跟我说了许多心里话,我才知道,婆婆心里其实是有我们的,我心里很受感动。

年前婆婆见我因风寒咳嗽不止,她也留了心。当她听别人说一种名为“盐白菜”的药治疗咳嗽的效果很好,就忙着买给我,我感受到婆婆对我的关心是实实在在的。这让我感受到了,当我愿意按神话实行时,周围的环境都变了,婆婆对我们家有了真实的关心和爱护,我们终于放下了多年的成见,成了真正互相帮助、爱护的一家人。

经历过后我才体尝到神的话“你越舍,越放,心里就越平安,心里空间就越来越大,你的情形就会越来越好;你越争,越抢,你的情形就越来越黑暗,你不信你试试。你要想扭转这样的情形,要想不被这样的东西控制,你必须得先放,先舍。你越争越黑暗,越争嫉妒的心越大,恨的心越大,你就越想得;越想得越得不着,越得不着你越恨,越恨你里面越黑暗……”这话的真实含义,当我按神的话实行学会放下自己,灵里才得以释放,心里平安、踏实。同时,也真实地体验到神的作工就是在洁净人、变化人,我们这些被撒但败坏至深的人,只有经历末世基督台前的审判,才能认识到自己被撒但败坏的事实真相,从而脱离撒但权势的捆绑,活出人样。感谢全能神带领我脱离了痛苦的深渊,让我有一个和睦的家,家里有了欢声笑语,是神帮我解开了婆媳之间难解的经!

奇妙

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