Somewhere a long lifes path

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And the final step, go somewhere! Someone in one of my classes told me that she actually has a team member who will follow her into the bathroom and keep talking. Some are there because they consider themselves to be assertive but their friends, co workers and family would label them aggressive. The next time youre asked to volunteer your Saturday for a charity event, heres your reply. By giving an alternate choice, you are helping the other person feel in control by allowing them to choose Option A or Option B. Solicitors. Thank you. I was thinking about donating some of our old toys and clothes to the upcoming big garage sale. Time management experts will tell you that you actually control very little of your day because of these interruptions. If that is the case, then exit the building. No, I cant give you that time to sell hotdogs at the game. Each person in this group needs help in saying no assertivelynot aggressively or passively. So forget your white lies. We need to give back. First of all you need to know that when someone asks gotta minute? You can tell them no now Ive got 22. As our parents taught us one lie leads to another. Thank you for calling. And then it becomes even more work to remember which lie you have told to whom to be able to keep all those stories straight. When and where should I deliver those? 2. Then assertively ask for a meeting and set some guidelines about how and when to interrupt. What time should I send Craig? or No, and that sounds like a great way to raise funds. 1. If the flag is as half mask that means Im busy, dont interrupt. As you will read in other chapters of this book, avoidance is a tool never used by an expert communicator.

So here are several responses that have worked for me.. So lets get you started. So my suggestion is to answer gotta minute this way No, Im working on something right now. In fact, some people have been pushing and pushing you over the yearsjust waiting for you to say that two letter wordNO. And then the majority is there because they just cant say no to anyone. Theyre talking because they think you havent noticed them in the room. I DO however want to support the league so let me cut you a check for $ ____ and where would I need to send that? or No Im not available. I believe we are not put on this earth to take, take, take. This is non verbal communication that lets them know you are watching your time. Sorry to disturb you. Grab your car keys like youre going to the store. I usually give them the courtesy and allow them to finish their script (afterall it is THEIR job and I dont want to be rudeeverybody has to make a living. Many of us are using our vacations to get control of the work load at home painting, repairs, remodeling. They have little flags that they keep on their desks. Walk around the office outside and then return. A small group is there because they hate telling others what they want or think. Weekend Event Participation. They believe in being a good team member and they mistakenly believe saying yes is required if they want to hold on to that label. 3. I know you must value your time as I do mine, so please take me off of your list so that you wont be wasting your time again in the future. Alternate offerings have been used in several of our examples so far. They feel saying no means that they are rejecting someone and they hate rejection themselves. We are asked to do more and more with fewer resources. When I say Ive got 6 minutesthey are thinkingwow shes serious with her time. So using the word no can actually help in advancing your career and getting you noticed as someone who is decisive, and values their time.

Red means stop, Im busy, do not disturb. One of the problems with getting our lives into balance is that we are doing for everyone else in our life that there is no time left over for ourselves. What a great opportunity for my children to donate to the community.Whenever I do a Communication Seminar, my audience is full of people with different needs. One company that uses cubicles as work space, has a flag system. Goodbye. Or No thank you and I hope you have good luck with your other calls tonite. I can talk with you at lunch (Option A) instead or after work (Option B) or No, Ive got 6 minutes. Not really you dont have to be a smart alec and yet in reality, the research shows that if you were in concentrated thought and working on something, when you are interrupted it will take you 22 minutes to re focus at Yoga mat the level you were at BEFORE the interruption. First recognize the fact that they often walk into your room talkingeven if youre on the phone or doing something. You take pride in getting as much done on your task list as possible yet, someone, maybe even your boss, drops by and requests that you stop everything and put priority on their project.. Thank you for thinking of me. Volunteerism is great! And you can be a good citizen WITHOUT giving your time either have all the money in the world and no time to do anything with it or all the time in the world and no money to do anything with it? Thats a very useful tool to use when you need to say no. No I cant do that and get the other work youve delegated to me completed. Another client company uses large felt dots on their cubicles. They get taken advantage of personally as well as professionally. No, Ive already given to my designated charity for this year or NO. Some passive communicators use an old tool called white lies. See how important guidelines are in assertive communication with other team members? OK, look for the next article The Next Three Ways to Say NO and they will help you too! . So notice them. They learn in class that no one owns a crystal ball and so they need to develop the skills to speak up assertively and state their needs. never mind, it was important. As a bonus, heres what you do with them.

Somewhere a long lifes path you must learn to say NO to others so that you can say YES to yourself. Yellow means Im busy, if its important you can interrupt for a minute. With confidence and an even tone of voice, you can assertively make yourself clear and be heard. The first issuevolunteerism. Is that a problem in the great U S of A? You betcha! Todays American worker is working 30 days more a year than just three years ago. Wow thats allot of time wasted. This tool is also imperative for life balance. Even if you are on the do not call list, sometimes a solicitor can catch you on the phone at night, on weekends, and at dinner. or Oh, it will take more than 6 minutes so yes lets meet for lunch instead. Exercise program? Out of the question if youre that Little League parent that shows for every game and practice, and the Sunday School teacher that never misses a class, and that babysitter on weeknights for your friends or family. We hear their scripted dialogue and we really dont have the time to listen to it. As soon as they come into the room, give them a hand signal (a nice one) to let them know you know they have arrived. Interruptors. When doing this make sure you are the one coming up with the options because after all, you too are accepting which choice they make. Then once off the phone, give them a minute and look at your watch. Alternative choice is a good tool to use with people who interrupt your work day. So could you use Nancy in Bookkeeping or Joe in Customer Service to help you? or Yes I can do that but this other work wont get done, which project do you want completed today, this one or that one? The other types of interrupters is the ones that just show upunannounced, without permission. No thank you, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU (Pausing between the nos, escalating your tone, and strengthening of your voice). If your life is out of balance that its the time that you desperately need to have added to your life. Green means Im working but can be disturbed. If that doesnt work, and they are still talking, after a minute stand up like youre going somewhere. How do you do that? Here are some real life examples and responses or techniques that can be implemented into your life to allow you to be savvy and successful with the word no. Can you tell me what you need in that time or do we need to reschedule? One thing I have noticed is when you are specific about what time you DO havepeople take notice. Remember, that old saying. If you can learn to say no more assertively and make better choices with your time you will actually have more time to get done what you want to get done. Remember tone of voice is just as important as the words you will use.